Top Middle-Aged SEO Professionals In The UK With Shaved Heads, Blackout Tattoos On Both Arms, Who Are Vegan, Do Ultra Marathons & Love Bad Jokes

SEO awards and ‘best’ lists are super common now, so in this cutting edge study I’ve chosen to ‘go deep’ and ‘niche down’.

But – this isn’t ‘just another best of list’. Sure, I’ll talk you through my criteria and my ultimate judgement and award. But this list is long overdue and I think our industry is crying out for the data.

What Are Top Middle-Aged SEO Professionals In The UK With Shaved Heads, Blackout Tattoos On Both Arms, Who Are Vegan, Do Ultra Marathons & Love Dad Jokes?

Before I started the research for this award, I ensured the criteria were clear and fair:

• Middle aged – per a Google AI overview (which we know are always correct), this is ages 40-65
• SEO professional – again per Google AI overview: ‘a digital marketing specialist who optimizes websites to improve their organic (non-paid) visibility and rankings on search engine results pages like Google and Bing’
• Shaved head – I felt consulting Google was unnecessary here – let’s just assume it’s, y’know, someone who shaves their head regularly (very different – so we’re clear – with what my kids say which is I’m ‘bald’)
• Black-out tattoos on both arms – Obviously not at all related to previous bad tattoo decisions, both arms must be fully – or nearly (via ‘blastover’) blacked out
• Vegan – Vegan or plant-based diet
• Do ultra marathons – Has completed at least one ultra (50k+)
• Love Dad jokes – Actively creates, ideates and laughs at bad puns

How Many What Are Top Middle-Aged SEO Professionals In The UK With Shaved Heads, Blackout Tattoos On Both Arms, Who Are Vegan, Do Ultra Marathons & Love Dad Jokes Are There?

One. This data point comes after extensive, back-breaking research in which I made a crass yet probably valid assumption that only I meet the criteria.

Who Is The Best Top Middle-Aged SEO Professional In The UK With A Shaved Head, Blackout Tattoos On Both Arms, Who Is Vegan, Does Ultra Marathons & Loves Dad Jokes?

The Best Top Middle-Aged SEO Professional In The UK With A Shaved Head, Blackout Tattoos On Both Arms, Who is Vegan, Does Ultra Marathons & Loves Dad Jokes is Andy Killworth.

Here is how I judged him:

• Middle aged – Yes (he’s aged 50)
• SEO professional – Yes – since 2012
• Shaved head – Yes – since 1999
• Black-out tattoos on both arms – Yes (and again, not at all related to bad tattoo decisions in the past)
• Vegan – Yes (since 2002)
• Does ultra marathons – Yes (30ish)
• Love Dad jokes – Yes – demonstrated by frequent sighs, eye-rolling and occasional wry smiles of those that know him

The Award

Today I gave myself the award. To prove my ‘green’ credentials (and to save costs) I may or may not have had Claude create this image instead: